I think I am not afraid of the truth, I am more afraid of what the truth might bring…
I don’t know what made me excited to come up with this name, the fact that it suits me perfectly or me having the courage to talk about it.
You see, back in 2008, right after we moved in to our newly built home, my husband was told that he’ll be the first one to be laid off from his job. Mastering enough courage and not wanting to lose our home, I started looking for a job with a prayer, to please help me find one, anything to help us out. Checking online, I saw this add for a housekeeping job. I thought at that time that it would be something – like for a hotel, only this time it is at a university. So I printed the applications, filled it up and mailed it the same day. I had a few more job applications sent out to other companies as well. A few days later, I received a call asking me if I could come in that day for an interview. So I went. As soon as I sat down, the hiring manager looked at me then at my resume and asked me, “Are you sure you want this job, you’re pretty good at computers; you’re over qualified for the job.” Her question would have had discouraged me but the thought never even entered my mind. I looked at her and said, I am sure and proceeded to tell her my reasons. She said, that maybe another job that suits my qualifications will come along. So I was hired. The job was not what I thought it was.
The first two weeks were very tough for me. I would come home hurting and crying myself to sleep, I guess more of pity than anything else. As weeks went by, things got easier. My body adjusted, I had a routine set up and my pride, yes my pride, finally admitted the reality of it.
It’s true that the truth sets us free. In my case, truth not only sets me free…it also gave me this unexplained freedom to be who I really am.
To everyone, I am known as the cleaning lady. Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against anybody who does cleaning for a job. In fact, I have such high respect for them now. Its just that, we as humans have a tendency to look down on people. What about those who knew me back home? And I was terrified and ashamed for them to know what I do. Just the thought of it scared me. So I never really talked about it.
Now, ten years later, I want the world to remember me as “The Cleaning Blogger“. Yes, I clean by day and I am a blogger, photographer and writer by heart.
Looking back, God didn’t give me my hearts desire because He knows that that’s not what I need. I was not being punished, but He was grooming me for something better. For the past ten years, God showed me, taught me and let me experience things that I would have not, had I been at home or working somewhere else. He made me tougher, stronger and wiser. He humbled me without making me meek and weak. He gave me the courage to speak up for myself and for others who can’t do it for themselves. I have met a diverse group of people who taught me how to accept our differences with grace.
For the past ten years, I have also sent out countless job applications, hoping I’d get another break. And there was nothing. None at all. And every time, I blame it on this job. Maybe, once they see what my current job is, they toss away my application…I told myself.
But today, I want to believe that maybe…God is not done with me yet. Maybe this Cleaning Blogger is being groomed for something else.
So for now….
God is in control.
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