Forty Plus Eight

“Each birthday, I count not the years but the blessings given, lessons learned, tears and laughter in between and people who stayed within.”

Eight days ago, I celebrated my birthday in solitude. It’s been two years now, I think, since I had my birthday set in private on a social media platform. This year, I asked family to greet me privately and they obliged.

At forty-eight years old, I still have a lot of things that I have not done, a lot of dreams that I still have to fulfill and goals that I have yet to accomplish. I am pretty slow, or should I say laid back?…that way.

And at forty-eight, I can say that I am content and happy. I am happy in my own skin. I no longer long to belong. I am no longer in competition with anyone, other than myself. And I no longer base my worth on anything superficial. I am happy with myself and by myself.

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The past years have been a learning process for me, an awakening. Surely, God knows what we need, how we need it and when. I don’t think, I’ll be the person that I am right this very minute, if not for everything that I experienced and everyone that has directly or indirectly impacted me. Experiences and people who taught me things and showed me feelings that I wouldn’t experience and felt on my own.  It’s not all good and happy and wonderful and great…but it’s very much-needed.

“Don’t let anybody make you cruel. It is never worth losing yourself.”

And at forty-eight, I am embracing the beauty of being still and quiet, not because I have nothing to do or say, but because big things and big words can be seen and be felt in the stillness and quietness of life.

And at forty-eight, I am going to embrace the now, enjoy the present, look forward to tomorrow, love myself even more and give more of myself to those who not only need me, but…see me and hear me and want me, at my best and in my worse.

At forty-eight, I found myself.

Stronger, better, wiser.

“We age not in years but in how much we have grown.”

 

 

 

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