Hidden Pains

There are quite a few instances that I ask God to show me my purpose. Sometimes, the thoughts of why I am not wealthy or famous creep into me. During those times, a lot of why nots and what ifs bother me. And it’s during those times where I seek my purpose.

Most times, I think I am on the right track. But then, something will come along that makes me doubt if I knew what I am up to or if I am really on the right track. And most times, I would be in a situation where the experience will be eye-opening. Most times, I think God is letting me go through something so I can write about it and really know first hand what I am writing about.

The past few days have been characterized by pain, literally. There were times, where I would empathize with someone about their pains. But to really know what a person is going through because you’ve been there is a different story.

Now, I know what it’s really like to be in constant pain. I have been having back and shoulder pains that shoots through all the way to my elbow, in addition to having painful lumps on my left breast. At first, my doctor thought I have left cervical radiculopathy. But my x-rays showed no sign of cervical spine fracture or prevertebral soft tissue swelling. No fracture or other bone lesions present on my ribs as well. So now, we are back to zero again. I am waiting for my next ultrasound and mammogram schedule, and I hope to find some answers soon!

At the moment, Bengay is my friend. I am not a pain medicine enthusiast so I try to avoid feeding my body too much medicines. Now, I know what it’s like to live with chronic pain. I know what it’s like to say you’re doing good and keep smiling and keep living life as normal as possible even though you just want to crawl back in bed.

Can you imagine how many people we interact with on a day-to-day basis are actually hurting? So next time you talk to someone who is not so friendly or maybe deal with someone whose job doesn’t meet your expectations, maybe they are hurting or have problems that we know nothing about. The least we can do, is to just be kind.

 

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